A Must-Read: 8 Books About Sex for Different Needs

The Chinese sage Lao Tzu once said, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." But what exactly is that "first step" when it comes not to an abstract journey to somewhere (just as long as it's far from Russia), but, for example, a concrete path to perfect sex? Installing Tinder on your phone? Buying condoms? Visiting a sex shop? No—the best way to start the long and thorny path to becoming a sex guru is by thoroughly studying one of these specialised books.

Some people like eating with a fork, others with chopsticks, some with their hands, and some prefer to be fed with a spoon. In short, everyone eats in the way they prefer. The same applies to sex—people have different needs and desires, so there is no universal guide to the fine art of love that suits everyone. Instead, there is specialised literature—you just need to navigate its vast diversity and choose the right book that seems to have been written just for you and your unique needs.

For Fans of Neurobiology 

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski

Since its first publication in 2015, this book has regularly topped various rankings of popular science literature on sex. This is because Emily Nagoski, as a health expert with a PhD, focuses on the most important aspect of female sexuality: the close connection between libido and the brain. Of course, mastering physical techniques plays an important role in sex. However, if you don't emotionally prepare yourself before a lovemaking session, all those up-and-down, back-and-forth movements, or first clockwise and then counterclockwise—will remain just banal mechanical motions. The latest scientific data in psychology and neurobiology, as presented by Nagoski, will convince you that to improve unsatisfactory sex, you first need to clear the clutter in your muddled head.

For Team Players 

Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz

Love traditionally involves two people: a man and a woman. But according to statistics, only half of women aged 18-35 sometimes reach orgasm, while 91% of men report never having any problems with this. Agree, it's unfair. And some even profit from it—a vibrator in the modern Western world has become as popular a household appliance as a toaster, electric kettle, or fan. That's why Laurie Mintz, a psychology professor of human sexuality at the University of Florida with a respectable 25-year career, wrote a detailed guide on how to finally overcome this damn orgasm gap. Anyone who has delved into this issue knows that you should pay as much attention to the clitoris as possible. But what exactly, when exactly, and how exactly should it be done? Unfortunately, the fundamental philosophy of clitoral worship can't be summarised in a few words—you'll have to read the whole book (and you won't regret it).

For Hipsters and Zoomers 

Doing It! Let’s Talk About Sex by Hannah Witton

YouTubers rarely teach us anything smart or useful—trash, clowning, and all sorts of idiotic entertainment get far more likes than intellectual and thoughtful content. But Hannah Witton, who has been running her eponymous sex education channel for over 10 years, knows how to please everyone—both the intellectuals and the newbies, making her videos as serious as they are entertaining. Her debut book about sex differs only in its more candid tone and honesty, while the list of topics remains the same: pornography addiction, virtual sex, losing virginity, sexting, slut-shaming, body acceptance, the importance of mutual consent between partners, and so on. The book will appeal to those interested in how love has changed in the digital age, as well as to all novices eager to learn how to have safe and joyful sex.

For Mythbusters 

Don't Put That in There! And 69 Other Sex Myths Debunked by Aaron Carroll, Rachel Vreeman

Over 2,000 years have passed since Ancient Greece, yet people still widely believe in various myths, even extremely absurd ones, like "The Earth is flat" or "Americans never landed on the Moon," or even the ludicrous "Ukraine was invented by Lenin." When it comes to myths about sex, Aaron Carroll and Rachel Vreeman are the main debunkers. After reading their book, you will find out whether it is true that the average length of a male penis is 18 cm, that it cannot be broken, that anal sex causes cancer, that pubic hair never turns grey, and that wearing two condoms doubles protection against fertilisation—and much, much more hilarious stuff.

For Curious Explorers

A Hidden Miracle: The Whole Truth About Female Anatomy by Nina Brochmann, Ellen Daal

So, you are a woman—and you have this beautiful body. Or you are a man, and you've found yourself with a woman who has this beautiful body. What next? Understanding female anatomy is even more challenging than navigating the Tokyo metro system, so don't waste precious time—it's better to immediately hire experienced guides. Dr. Nina Brochmann and medical student Ellen Daal will take you by the hand and lead you through all the hidden corners, hills, and folds of that fantastic female organ, known in strictly medical terms as the "vagina," and they will do so with scientific wisdom and a touch of humour. There have long been books on everything in the world: coffee, black holes, kangaroos, Elvis Presley, diesel engines, decorative dogs, breaststroke swimming, and so on—and now there's even a book about the vagina, written not just any old way, but with great love and respect. After all, it deserves it.

For Those Who Support Ukrainians

Field Work in Ukrainian Sex by Oksana Zabuzhko

We all know how sex is conducted in Russia—first, the cops arrest someone in the street for participating in a protest against the Putin regime, then beat them half to death at the station, while attaching electrodes to their genitals and inserting a mop into their rectum. But how is sex conducted on the other side of the front—in Ukraine? Under the sounds of air raid sirens, the explosions of Russian missiles, and the nightly buzzing of Iranian "Shaheds"—that's clear. But how exactly do Ukrainians do it? Back in 1996, Oksana Zabuzhko wrote a largely autobiographical book, Field Work in Ukrainian Sex, which tells the story of the extraordinary relationship between Ukrainian poet Oksana and sculptor Mykola. The novel became a national bestseller and was translated into most European languages—not only because of its explicit erotic scenes but also due to the writer's bold reflections on Ukrainian and female identity.

For Pensioners

Naked at Our Age by Joan Price

What would most people do if they suddenly learned that a 65-year-old Jane they know has recently taken to sleeping with a 72-year-old Walter they also know? There are two options: people will either cynically mock them or angrily shame them, saying, "Just look at this—standing there, old fogeys, with one foot in the grave, and instead of writing a will—they're shagging..." If you are this 65-year-old Jane and 72-year-old Walter, or any other pensioners who want and enjoy making love, then you shouldn't care at all what other people might say. If you've lived to a respectable age but still haven't learned to ignore the opinions of the idiots around you, then Joan Price's book is just what the doctor ordered. For those who doubt, she will convince you that sex in old age can be enjoyed without shame and without the permission of those it doesn't concern, but instead—with ease, humour, and joy.

For Those Who Fear Hair Will Grow on Their Palms

Sex for One by Betty Dodson

Prometheus freed humanity from the bondage of the gods, Alexander Fleming—from the terror of bacteria, Henry Ford—from the necessity of walking, Elon Musk freed the world from relying on Russia for cargo delivery to the ISS, Bill Gates eventually relented and freed us from Internet Explorer, and Betty Dodson—this legendary feminist—freed humanity from centuries of shame about masturbation. Her manual first appeared back in 1987, and since then, anyone who can read no longer fears that hair will grow on their palms, or that a deceased grandfather will be watching them disapprovingly from heaven—shaking his head in disappointment, threatening with his fist, and frowning angrily. However, don't forget an important nuance: the pleasant process of liberation from moral prejudices can imperceptibly turn into an unpleasant addiction.